The Education of Harriet Hatfield

I found myself seeking out my books by May Sarton yesterday and today. It makes sense. I first read May back in my college days. I was frightened then—could I finish? Could I afford to continue to graduate school? Can being a therapist actually happen??? Fear. But onward I went. Ironically, I feel more afraid now as I look back than I recall actually feeling while going through it. But I know it was there. More powerfully driven by desires, goals, ambitions, whatever you may call them, I was excited to get going. The days at college were filled with homework, readings, classes, semesters, kids, daycare worries, school vacations, work-study, friends, a brief foray into student leadership that ended dramatically, apartment moves after roommate dramas, boyfriend issues, new boyfriend issues, parenting issues, and on and on. I didn’t think about grades, just about moving on and getting “the key.” Obtaining that key would lead to the next step—graduate school to get “that key”—and then that key would lead to my life beginning: at 30, with two kids and an unknown future. It has been 38 years since that time. I got “both keys,” moved back to Maine, moved to WV, married again, moved to Massachusetts, back to WV, up to Connecticut, back to WV, up to Maine, moved seven times, now settled, and the world is falling apart…Back to May Sarton and Plant Dreaming Deep, Journal of a Solitude (favorite), and seeing if I have a copy or two of The Education of Harriet Hatfield, because I have a dream—two actually! I want to open a bookstore in the bottom of Holt Hall—look it up, it has a cool history. Since reading The Education of Harriet Hatfield again, back in college, Holt Hall (not called that then) has been the place I envisioned Harriet opening her store. Second dream: me and three partners opening a therapeutic Airbnb. I wrote about this idea back in college…Funny, it all is leading back to my time in college… Life dream part two!

Sonnet 4.5